How and Why I only keep clothes I feel good in.

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A lot of women struggle to find clothes that they like and actually fit well. I shop at the local thrift shops for mine. I know some people do not like this but it is what works for me in this current phase of life.

I love keeping only clothes that fit me and I like for a couple of different reasons including
1.)I can keep less things in my closet at once eliminating clutter
2.)My daughters like to pick out my clothes for me. It makes them feel special.
3.)I can easily and quickly get dressed in the morning.

This seems hard to do and costly for most people however I have a few different frugal ways do this. I usually only spend $20 for several different clothing items at a time. It gives me the ability to change up my style whenever I want to. I do this by

1.)Shopping at the deep clearance rack at Goodwill. If you actually look you will be quite amazed at how many things you can find that work for you left behind by others that don’t have the same style taste as you.
2.)I also like to look at the color of the day, the tags that are that color are half price.
3.)Using a local garage sale group on facebook and wait until the seller lowers the price a bit. Most moms use the garage sale groups but buy instantly. I like to wait a day or two of the items not selling then buy them once they lower the price a bit.
4.)Buying a neutral color item and make it more exciting with timeless pieces of jewelry like rings or necklaces. My favorite color is silver. If you get things that never go out of style and work for you it can limit the amount of money you need to spend on these items.

If you are unhappy with your clothes use some of my tips and get a closet full of clothing that you are excited about! If an item is too bland go ahead and add a pop of color with timeless jewelry. I hope some of these ideas work for you. If you have any other ideas of how to liven up your wardrobe frugally feel free to add them to the comment section below.

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5 ways to reduce your child induced anxiety.

We all love our kids but, sometimes they simply drive us crazy. As someone with bipolar depression I know this all too well. I am working on being a calmer mother this year. I have come up with some simple steps to lessen anxiety in these hot headed situations.

The first three will work if you have some time on your hands. These will work when your children are cranky or you are having a high anxiety day naturally without the children driving you nuts. Have them play in their room or watch a cartoon to be able to do these activities.

  1.  Get creative with some kind of art project or writing something. I know a lot of people that are great at paint or drawing. It is super fun and calming. My creativity in unleashed through my writing. It helps me have a more focused mind about what I am writing about and less about the world around me. After just a few minutes this will help you be more relaxed and ready to face the challenges of parenting once again.
  2. How you look has a lot to do with your confidence level and how you feel. If you are stressed out maybe a few minutes in the bathroom will do you some good. Maybe you have time to take a quick shower, and put on some makeup. If not you can still always put your hair up, and put on some perfume and lip gloss. It will help you be calm and you will also look great for the rest of the day.
  3. Prepping dinner is a calming thing that you are going to have to do later in the day anyway. So chop your stress away with those veggies and fruits. I know peeling potatoes gets rid of the anger that has been boiling inside me. Making homemade bread tastes great and the kneading process is very calming. This will also help you make a wonderful and nutritious meal for your family.

These next methods are things that you can do with you kids next to you.

  1.  Drinking water can calm your mind quickly and also make you feel healthy. There is nothing better than a cold glass of water on a hot day! It also gets you mind thinking of eating healthy.
  2. Going outside is a simple and fun method to relax you. You can sit on the porch and watch them ride bike, go down the side, or anything else they want to do. A great thing to also do outside is take a walk. It will help you get a workout into your day. Either way will calm both you and your children down for the rest of the day. It will hopefully help them fall asleep earlier.

I hope these tips help you stay strong on high anxiety days, and be a more happy parent!

How I have been healing in 2017

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This pic is from 2015 but it is one of the best ones I have of me and my girls.

In the beginning of this year, I have been going through a lot of pain. Several things have really broken me as a person in my life. I have never really allowed myself to heal from them. I just kept on going.

The first thing is the death of my beloved grandma. I was her “special one” the one that she loved the most. She babysat me a lot when I was very little before my little sister was born. After that, she took me shopping every weekend from age 7 until  I graduated high school. We spent so much time together. When she got sick me and my husband were there to visit several times to help her out. However I wasn’t there when she needed me the most, the night she passed away. I thought I had until the next morning after me and my husband worked a 12-hour shift but she passed away that night. I never got to say goodbye. It hurt so bad for the rest of my life.

This year I realized that it will be a whole in my life forever, but I need to allow myself to heal for my sanity. She would not want me to worry and hurt about it as much as I have been. She knows that I love her due to my past actions. Always talking to her every night when she was lonely because she was seperated from my grandpa. I also helped her a ton in the hospital when she was sick. Remembering the good things really helped me heal.

The other thing I am healing from the poor treatment I received from my mother while growing up. She treated my sister as her special one and made my clean our room alone, and allowed her to beat me up while growing up. My mother self self injured herself a lot due to her schizophrenia and she also hit my because I looked too much like my dad. They were on and off again all the time growing up, and I was and always will be a daddy’s girl. I also grew up self injuring myself. It is a scary habit and I have always been trying to fight. My worst nightmare is that my girls pick up on the habit. My mom has ruined my life but I forgive her.

The ways I deal with it are forgiving her and my little sister, and being a better mom for my girls than she was for me. I never want to see my girls go through massive problems like I had to deal with. I love them so much! We talk about once a week, it still tough but I need to forgive her for the both of us.

I am also getting medical help for my bipolar depression. This has helped me immensely.  I no longer have the super depressive periods of my life that I used to have, and I also do not get manically happy where I end up ignoring my girls due to cleaning the house all day. I also have a medicine that I can take if I have panic attacks that used to make me injure myself.  I  am at a super calm and happy stage in my life and I hope it lasts forever.

Nicole